I am not romantic. I am realistic, pragmatic, committed. But romantic? not so much. Valentine's Day (with all of its sappy sweet pink & red hearts)annoys me. A lot. As I have said in a previous post, Valentine's Day is just too forced & commercialized and exhausting for my taste. That said, I do believe in love and the longer that I'm married the more that I appreciate it.
I have now been married for almost half of my life. And I kind of sort of want to say that I "couldn't live without him". That saying always irritates me though. People always say it but it's pretty obvious that there's a good chance that they will in fact have to live without the person that they love someday. (Or vice versa.) And it will suck, but 99% of the time you find out that life goes on. So, it's not true. What I will say is that I don't really want to have to live without him.
Our relationship is well past the butterflies in the stomach newlywed phase. We have officially advanced to the comfortable, convenient, and cozy phase which involves mind reading, sentence finishing, and total ability to order perfectly for the other person off of any menu. We know exactly what the other person looks like first thing in the morning, when they have the flu, and which chores we will procrastinate the longest. Although it doesn't sound remotely hot or exciting, it kind of is.
You see, there's a place that you get to when you absolutely know that someone knows all of the worst things about you and yet they choose to love you anyway for some crazy reason. There's a safety and a closeness in that space. All of the sudden, it's not just you against the world but "Us" against the world.
We've endured through the bills, the leaky roofs,the roadside flat tires, and the colicky babies. We've laughed together and cried together and apologized too many times for saying things we wish we could take back. Marriage is about the business of living- living together and making it work. Marriage is far more work than they ever tell you. Or maybe they do tell you but you just don't want to hear it. I don't know. What I do know is that I don't show my husband how much I truly love & appreciate him enough. He's far better at romance than I am.
So... Dustin, I love you! I love you for being my knight in shining armor that shows up when I do something dumb like lock my keys in the car or I run out of gas. And laughing with me more than at me. ;-) I love you for the times that you at least half listen while I talk and talk like I have a caffeine IV drip. I love you for being my jack of all trades that installs dishwashers and remodels bathrooms and rebuilds engines and takes a little project like building me a raised bed for a few plants and turns it into a terraced hillside complete with waterfall and staircase. I've gotten where I just take it for granted that you'll be able to fix something or build something and it's only occasionally that I step back and marvel at how AMAZING it is that you can do all of that! I love you for being the adventurous one that pushes me out of my comfort zone & makes me take life less seriously. I love you for accepting me as I am & that you value what we have. And most of all, I love that you stick around through all of the rain and you're here to enjoy the rainbows with me when they come. Thank you!
I think whatever part of the brain that makes girls get all goofy over roses & conversation hearts is broken in me. I don't like pink and I don't like mushy poetry that rhymes. But I do love "us". Happy Valentine's Day!